For over a decade, I had investigated puppy farmers, dealers and backyard breeders providing evidence to the authorities and the media. I’d dealt with distraught families who had bought puppies that had become sick or died. I’d helped them wherever possible to take these people to court and get the perpetrators prosecuted. But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that so many of these people could have avoided all this heartbreak by simply doing their homework.

So many of the people they’d bought puppies from had been exposed in the press and by organisations such as C.A.R.I.A.D. and others. The names of the perpetrators were easy to find just by doing a quick online search. But they’d let their hearts rule their heads and allowed themselves to be taken in by scammers and people who viewed puppies merely as commodities rather than sentient beings.

As C.A.R.I.A.D. we had spent so many years trying to educate the public on how to avoid buying pups that started life in horrific puppy farms. Always see the pups interacting with their mothers at the place they were born we told them. It was so frustrating to have family after family come to us seeking justice because they hadn’t done their research, but of course I couldn’t say that to them. I just had to keep focussed on trying to get them some justice or recompense for their sick or dead puppies. Yes, it was emotionally draining, but I was a professional and I didn’t let my emotions get in the way of doing my job, though it was very difficult at times. It’s why I was so shocked at my own reaction to working on the investigation into Pumpkin and Friends Charity. I really thought I was untouchable.

This investigation was very different, and it affected me in ways that all those previous years hadn’t, but why? And then it hit me. Unlike my past experiences the victims in this instance had done nothing wrong. And more than that, they’d been suffering from emotional torment and wrongful accusations for years.

I’d been used to dealing with people in floods of tears over the death of their puppies, or husbands saying their wives had suffered breakdowns. And then there was the affect on their children. Now I was exposed to a different type of heartbreak and worse than that, genuine fear.

These were good, kind-hearted individuals whose lives revolved around caring for disabled dogs, and that takes a very special type of person. Selfless, compassionate and prepared to put the needs of the dogs in their care before their own personal needs. And yet, here I was at the end of the phone listening to them cry or have panic attacks because they were genuinely in despair. Why? Because they dared to challenge or ask questions of a charity’s CEO and trustees. Or for simply posting an honest response to a question someone asked them on social media. Or for fundraising for another charity. For these simple, innocuous actions they were being hounded, threatened, trolled and accused of things they simply hadn’t done but at the same time were blocked from responding and giving their side of the story. They felt gagged and powerless and at the mercy of those who were intent on making their lives a living hell.

The injustice of all this made my heart hurt. It made me feel angry at the sheer madness of it all. I found that it started to affect me physically as well. My hair started to fall out, and I would wake up at 4am unable to get back to sleep. I would also dread checking my phone in the morning for fear of what awful things had happened while I was asleep. Most of all it made me feel emotionally very attached to all those who had been affected over the years because I could truly empathise with what they’d been going through. After all, my colleague and friend, Linda, and I had been at the mercy of trolls for many years during our campaigning days.

Although I’m not an emotional person by nature, this investigation has really hit me hard. Despite that it and if anything because of it, my resolve is even greater to get justice for all those who have been wronged including my friend and colleague, Linda. And most of all, to call out what I believe to be lies on a scale unlike anything I have ever witnessed.